What we’re thankful for this Thanksgiving

And on the third day, God made the Packers beanie

“And the people saw what He had made, and that it was good. And they said, ‘Yea, let the Packers beat the Rams. Kick their ass, sea bass!’” 

“Oh. OH! That IS cute. Please, take my taser. And these handcuffs. Now, scoot – off you go!”

My besties and I are going to the Packers/Rams game on Oct. 16. For the event, I bought the cutest beanie ever. It is, in fact, SO CUTE that it will most likely score me free admittance into the game.

Security guard: “Ma’am, you can’t just walk in. Ticket, please?”

Me: *Points to the hat*

Security guard: “Oh, excuse me. Go right in. And, by the way, CUTE HAT.”

Me: *Blushes modestly* “Well, aren’t you just the sweetest!”

Security guard: “I’ll still have to check your purse though.”

Me: *Pulls out a puppy from the purse and hands it to the guard*

Is your give-away puppy approximately this adorable? Congratulations - the world is now your oyster.

Security guard:  “Go right in! And why don’t you take my jacket – it’s a little nippy.”

Me: *Pinches his cheek, shakes head affectionately with charming half-smile, and walks right through.*

End scene.

Aaaaand that’s how it’s done.